Mainly Mita

In the Philippines, as in most parts of Asia, we hold a deeper respect for our elders than in most parts of the world.  It’s so ingrained in the Asian psyche, we don’t even think twice about it.  It’s a simple philosophy based on affection more than obligation. They took care of us when we were unable to take care of ourselves, hence, we take it upon ourselves to do the same now they have advanced in age.  If that sounds like an obligation, I assure you it’s not.

At this stage in my life when my parents are in their late 70’s and their older siblings are passing on one by one, nothing scares me more than the thought of losing one of them.  My niece said the same thing in our family Yahoo! group.  I feel so badly for my two sisters who are in the US, far away from our parents.  Every time we have a medical emergency here, I know their fears because I felt it once before.

I lost an aunt last June.  At the very same time, my mother’s doctor wanted her confined for a minor infection.  My mother was also suffering from a slight depression at that point and I knew to confine her then would not have helped at all.  So I begged and bargained with her doctor until he agreed to an outpatient arrangement where we shuttled my mother every other day to see him.

My mother has been a diabetic for years you see.  The disease is taking its toll on her body and her emotions.  Diabetics suffer from depression more than the average person. There were times when she refused to eat because she had no appetite at all….not for anything.  There were times when not even my little nephews, whom she loves  dearly, could get her out of her funk.

Taking care of a woman like my mother is not easy.  For a huge part of our lives, she was the strong, formidable presence who made all the decisions.  When she said no, which was rare, we had no choice but to acquiesce.  That’s become a problem now that she needs more medical care.  When she refuses to do something, we cannot just give in like in the past.  To do so could cost her her life.

We had another scare last week.  Pneumonia.  That killer of an infection, especially for the elderly.  Diabetics are more prone to infection.  My aunt died of pneumonia in June.  And oh God were we all scared when the doctor said my mother had pneumonia last week! I could hear the gasps of fear in my sisters’ emails and text messages when they were told.

Luckily,  it was caught early and her doctor is good.   My mom loves her doctor and thinks the world of him.  She can be coy with him and lie straight to his face about her diet or what she’s been up to, but he’ll wiggle it out of her like none of her children can.   She’s naughty that way you see.  The young tomboy who bullied her classmates into giving her their gourmet lunches or prized goldfish will still surface every so often.

When she first got sick over 5 years ago, she disliked the first doctor who saw her so much she called her “Brownie” - after all the brown outfits and accessories the lady-doctor seemed to wear on a daily basis.  Hemming and hawing was never my mother’s style and this is what the good doctor seemed to be doing with her.  My mother has always been  a straightforward, no nonsense woman who speaks her mind but is also very charming when she wants to be.  She couldn’t find it in her to even be slightly charming with “Brownie” and told me to contact her niece in Cebu who could refer us to another doctor.  And so we found Dr. Ed.  We all go to him now - for anything that ails us.

I’ll always be grateful for finding Dr. Ed.  He’s truly a lifesaver. My mother is back home now, sitting in her usual place at the table.  Her blood sugar is going back to normal and she’s her old cheerful, sometimes naughty self.  She’s not being naughty when it comes to her diet though…the will of steel  is showing again and she’s sticking to her low-carb diet until she’s off insulin.  And all is right with my world.