Oh that US facility was definitely the San Miguel communications site…I’m from Zambales myself and my husband who was with AF Space Command had some involvement in the closing of that station even if he’d never set foot in it.

Anyway, I’m really sorry to hear about your wife’s troubles with her family. While Filipino families do tend to help each other here, it does become a burden when all some family member wants is a pension for life. Maybe your wife is doing the right thing by showing tough love. Even if she is the eldest, tell her that her obligation, if there is any, is to her parents who raised her - not to any of her siblings. Any help she gives the siblings is entirely up to her. That’s just my opinion.

My husband and I had a lot of conversations like this in the past. Out of curiosity, he’s asked me what some neighbor’s income was - not surprisingly, they have relations abroad who support them. I’m lucky that my parents never demanded anything from any of their children. My mom calls it “pobre orgulloso” or poor man’s pride. My mother always told us, “in life, you have to drag your own tail to get to where you want to go” - I believe that. No matter what help you get, it’s always up to YOU and no one else.

My comments are going to be about culture. It will be different than your article because it is a long distance relationship. If you don’t think it is appropriate then just delete it.
But I don’t know you, you don’t know me and my wife doesn’t read this. So nobody loses face.
I was sent to the Philippines in 1964 and I spent 2 years at a small Navy base not far from San Antonio in Zambales province. But to be honest I was only 17 and there were so many distractions I didn’t study culture a lot.
The woman I am married to now is from Mindanao. Before I went to visit her we wrote letters for almost a year. She was one of 6 children plus the parents. My wife to be got through college and was a school teacher. She was the only support for the entire family.
I met all of her family. Her father seemed like a nice man, however he only spoke Cebuano and I only know a couple Tagalog words. I wish I could have talked to him.
I also met some of her friends, some of her coworkers and we even went to lunch with her boss.

I was there almost a month. I even got to ride a Carabao again. Her family couldn’t understand why I wanted to do that, but I used to do it sometimes back in the 60’s.

I knew before we got married that we would be helping the family. My wife didn’t tell me, but I knew it would happen. I did tell my wife before we got married that I would never discuss money with her family, I said that was her responsibility. I know with the culture difference that would probably start a war.

My wife has been here in the U.S. for a little over 7 years. We have been married for 7 years and life is pretty good. She is a U.S. citizen now and has her U.S. passport.

I think my wife shelters me from a lot of the problems she has with her family. The youngest child is early 20s and the eldest is my wife who is 37.

All 3 sons and the father drink a lot. Not on special occasions, I mean every day. At least 2 or 3 bottles of rum. The youngest son has been sniffing glue for years. One of the other boys sometimes sells drugs and uses them also. I don’t know what he does and I don’t want to know. The other son seems to be very smart but he is lazy. Before I came into the picture she got his teeth fixed, got him some new clothes because he got a job somewhere. He quit the first day because he didn’t want people telling him what to do.
The second eldest daughter finally had enough and we helped her get to UAE. She works as a housekeeper in a hospital I think. Something like that, she seems to like what she is doing.
The youngest daughter. She was enrolled in a school there for something with computers. My wife was sending her money every month for about 6 months. Then my wife found out she never did enroll for anything, she was just putting the money in her pocket. Then my wife sent her money to go to some kind of nurses aide class. I don’t know if she went to school or not.
She isn’t working even if she did go.
My wifes father was not in good health and had had several strokes in the past. He had another stroke in June and did not survive this time. I tried to get her to go to the funeral, she wouldn’t do it.
After that situation subsided I told her to go visit her mother while she is still healthy. Wife said she won’t go back there.

I talk to my wife about some of these things but I can’t really say what is on my mind.
I told her once that her 3 brothers went straight from breast feeding to retirement.
Wife also told me they all have cell phones. I know that is common in the Philippines. However if it was me I would buy food first.
I know my wife has been hurt a lot by her family. Nobody ever writes to her, they don’t send her a birthday card, they don’t sent her a Christmas card.
All mom does is call here and say send money.

I don’t know if I will ever take a trip to the Philippines again. But if I do I won’t bother to see her family. I don’t speak the language, I don’t know what they really think. But the way they act toward me is “Here comes the white ATM”

Sorry for the long rant Mita. If you would like to delete the post feel free to do so. I know you can’t change anything, but I’m sure you understand what my wife has been going through.

Thanks,
Dan

I find your comments on the constitution of interest, If i may add? and this is not just the philippines but the usa and all people on earth should have basic rights that seem to get trampled by governments, so as you consider changes you may want to consider a simple opinion.
in my belief all people are created equal then it follows to reason the people should truely control the government, so in any changes should we ask how do the changes affect this basic right?
such as does a 2 party system serve the rights of a people? what laws can we put into effect to allow the people to take charge of their government, such as in the usa our current government appears to be quilty of major us and international laws, but the masters control the media and the people have little recourse.
so if say a small percent of the people could call for legaly binding investagation into crimes of the government with investigators appointed by the people NOT the government
On the issue of media ? humm is there some way to keep the government from controling, allowing the people to control
some food for thought on this is do a search , differance between republic and democracy
a good article is naomi wolf ” the 10 steps to facasim facasimhttp://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/apr/24/usa.comment

Cheers,
Ellen