Mainly Mita

The past weekend,   the US economy has been called countless terms all spelling DOOM - Armaggedon, Tsunami, Hurricane, etc.   It certainly looks grim from where my husband and I are sitting.

When I first moved to Colorado with my husband, I noticed how huge a difference the standards of living between the US and the Philippines was.  There seemed to be so much excess and I kept asking myself how people could afford all they had - and still sought to have.  Not to knock the next person, but there seemed to be so many ordinary citizens living the life  I thought doctors and other professionals could only afford.  Being so green, I thought this was just the way it was in the US.  But then, everything was getting bigger and grander the longer I stayed.  Houses, home entertainment options, kitchens, baths - just plain everything.  The word that always came up was “Upgrade” and it baffled me - how much house does a family need, how much of anything does anybody really need.  In the back of my head, all I could think of was, “Where is all this money coming from?”

Apparently, it was coming from credit that most people shouldn’t have even had access to in the first place.  Living large on a borrowed dime was never a good idea.  Yes, we all want.  Yes, we may all feel we DESERVE even.  However, from a prudent and rational standpoint (like my mother’s), the first consideration is always, “Can I AFFORD?”

Now I come to the reason this post is titled “Addiction.”

In the past couple of years since we’ve moved to the Philippines, there’s been so much news about celebrities going into rehab for one addiction or another.  The latest being David Duchovny for an addiction to sex and porn.  Addiction is an affliction that can be corrected with rehabilitation, a change of heart, mind, lifestyle and soul even.

Perhaps many will strongly disagree with me, but I’ll say it anyway.  Addiction is a deviation from the normal.  It’s letting go of responsibility for our actions until all control is out of the individual’s hands.  The ensuing downward spiral becomes a vortex that just sucks you in deeper and deeper till you need help just to come up for air.  It’s scary because it can actually lead to death if you don’t recognize the symptoms.

This is exactly the place where the US economy and society seem to be at the moment.  Struggling with its addiction to material excess.  The sad thing is, recovery cannot come unless recognition sets in.

At times, I still can’t help but blurt that out to my husband of almost 7 years.  Strangely, the fact that we are so different still surprises to this day.  Underneath the visual differences between my husband and myself, there are several more layers contributing to the “colorful” life we live.   But, if we both were a little less sensitive to our differences, we probably would not have survived.

The cultural difference is the most obvious of course.  We lived in two different countries, on opposing sides of the planet no less, for most of our lives.  Our upbringing was influenced by different traditions and attitudes.  Over-all of course, we were brought up with the same basic Christian values but there are still a lot of differences.  Strangely enough, I was raised more liberal than my husband was.

The biggest difference we had to overcome was the Filipino openness against the American need for privacy.  For Filipinos, total candidness is a must or we die a slow death.   Americans on the other hand, need a certain amount of space clear so they can breathe.  Filipinos are like frogs who think nothing of jumping into a small, crowded pond full of other frogs, but the American frog will find his own space, in a less-crowded pond somewhere.

We were reminded of this fact late last year when our neighbor’s daughter came home for the holidays with her big, strapping Canadian husband in tow.  The woman is about my age and she and her husband had been married as long we have.  But unlike our experience, they met and married in Canada so he never visited the Philippines nor met her family before.  In fact, we later learned, this was her husband’s first trip outside North America.  And what a trip it turned out to be.  There was a medical emergency involving the wife soon after they arrived and that just changed things dramatically, bringing out all the cultural differences possible in a cross-cultural marriage.

First of all, their plan was to stay with her family for the duration of their vacation.  When you move into a Filipino home, that usually means sharing space with not just her parents, but the brother, the sister, the sister-in-law, the brother-in-law and several nieces and nephews - and the family dogs….all in a small, cramped space.  The space is not all bad… you have most of the necessities minus the hot running water, but still, with so many more people sharing the air and the space, breathing is just that much more difficult for a Westerner.  For Filipinos, it’s always been, “The more, the merrier.”  And yes, Filipinos want to “make sure” you are alright and will constantly bug you about one thing or another , usually making sure you are well-fed.  It’s part of Filipino hospitality to never leave a “guest” alone….to allow this to happen would be rude.  For a Filipino, there’s nothing sadder than for a person to be alone….and that shall be rectified by hook or by crook!

When a medical emergency happens, the Filipino family gets involved.  I’ve seen this happen in our own family.  The spouse is not the only one who has a say about a patient’s care, it’s the whole family.   Regarding medical care, it’s an unspoken rule that elder siblings of the patient has to be consulted.  For a Westerner spouse not used to this practice, it may feel like he was being pushed away.

I was quite amused to read a closing sentence about the discussion that followed after Ted Haggard was outed by a male prostitute from Denver and after claims that the once very popular Rev. Ted Haggard was now completely heteresexual.  The article by Cary Leider-Vogrin who writes for the  Colorado Springs Gazette ends with this one question from Wayne Besen of the gay activist group, Truth Wins OUT -   ”If this guy couldn’t pray away the gay, who can?”

The article is actually titled, “Saved or Shoved Back into the Closet?” and appears in the Feb. 19, 2007 issue.  It comes right after a letter from the overseers of the New Life Church that Ted Haggard founded was released to its congregation. 

The pastor formerly known as Rev. Ted Haggard was said to be so powerful in politics, Dubya was a regular caller.  He was once so powerful he led the National Association of Evangelicals, almost like  being the Pope in Rome.

During the duration of my stay in Colorado, we had Tom Brokaw and Barbara Walters coming to Colorado Springs to do a feaure on evangelical ministries based there.  Colorado Springs is also home to the  huge Focus on the Family led by the Rev. James Dobson.  But the New Life Church and Ted Haggard had overshadowed their place in national importance. 

Oh yeah, Colorado Springs was a rocking place to be if you were an evangelical or a hardcore political conservative.  Dare I say it probably isn’t so these days? 

Wow….how things have changed since we left in late October…there’s a hospital that’s half-built on the corner of Powers Boulevard and Woodmen Road.  Then there’s finally going to be a Costco in the Springs, right on the corner of Powers and Barnes Road - ironically jus a few blocks from where we lived - and it’s opening come Thanksgiving of this year! 

I’m voting in this mid-term election in November.  It will be my first time to cast a ballot in this country and I’m taking my vote seriously - just as I did in 1986 when I first voted back in the Philippines.

Those who have visited my blog in the past might recall my travails with the INS regarding my N400 application.  The day finally arrived when I did the citizenship interview.  I correctly answered all the 10 questions about US history and government the immigration officer asked, did the reading and writing exam and was congratulated for passing the rigorous process that guaranteed me the precious right to vote in my adoptive country. (more…)

What a skewed view of the world some people have. How anyone can find this cover of BabyTalk magazine offensive is waaaaaaaaaay beyond me……

Please read this Yahoo news report attributed to the AFP and tell me if you believe there is anything at all offensive, shocking, uncomfortable or embarrassing about the cover.  Those are the words used by people who wrote the magazine in protest of their cover.

Gee, the people who wrote the magazine to express their “unhappiness” about the cover should be told, among other things:

1. how babies are made;
2. where they exit their mother’s womb to make their entrance into the world, and
3. what? babies will do in the future to ensure the conituation of the human race.

?Hahahaha…oohhhhh that will SHOCK the pants off anyone!