Mainly Mita

…although it’s spelled Cyril.  She’s our 15-year old housemaid who joined us  last month.

She’s the daughter of our ironing lady and helped clean the house for the past year.  Things changed when her mother told me how her husband went after this daughter in a drunken rage.  There was no rhyme or reason for his anger.  He just got drunk one night, went into a rage and tried to strangle the poor thing.

That’s when I decided to take her in.

When asked why most of this 36-year old woman’s 7 (8 as of last week) children were out of school, I was told they couldn’t afford it.  The older ones have to find work to help feed the family.  The fact is, even the younger ones skip school to earn a few pesos begging for used cans, bottles and newspapers to sell and help their mother.

Cyril only finished the 5th grade - or so I was told.  Months before  I took her in I told her mother to make sure she had all her school papers and birth certificate ready so she could continue her studies and at least finish high school.  Nothing happened so I told them there was no way she could go back to school.  I then offered to teach her myself.

I borrowed old books from Eldest Sister who religiously keeps her children’s “things” for posterity.  She even has her 25-year old son’s primary books…I kid you not.  I got some 3rd and 5th grade books and my 14-year old niece insisted I also take the math flash cards she used in the past.  “All set,” I thought.

Then I got started on Cyril.  What a huge mistake it all seemed then.  I tried and nothing seemed to be penetrating this young girl’s mind.  She forgot what I had just taught her -  a couple of minutes, literally,  after I concluded a simple lesson.  I was in total disbelief!

For so many nights after that I asked myself what was I doing wrong.  Perhaps it was malnutrition and I have to wait until her brain gets more nutrients so it’s up to speed.  I even talked to my mother who told me there was no hope.  Her words were, “After generations of poverty, why do you think this next generation of the family  is still headed to the poorhouse?  There’s not much up there (meaning the brain) to begin with - blame it on genes!”  But this is exactly the kind of Filipino thinking  I am so strongly opposed to  and I’m hoping can be changed for this one person, somehow.

After several lessons and getting nowhere, I decided to quiz her about the truth.  Well apparently, the girl didn’t even get to the 5th grade…she only completed the 2nd grade.  Like most of what I’ve been told after dealing with this family for over a year, that was a lie.  It’s either they’re embarrassed about the truth or want to paint a prettier picture of life to a stranger - either way, it doesn’t help them - or me.

And so one day a couple of  weeks ago,  I gave up trying and asked her if I needed to start with the alphabet.  She knew the alphabet when we started but didn’t  understand how it “worked” - how letters were put together to form words and words strung together make sentences.  She was quiet for the longest time and then looks at me and says “Yes, we have to start with the alphabet.”  I got primary age books for English and Math the very next day.

This week I got her memorizing the sounds of the letters and slowly introduced English spelling nuances as we went through the first part of the English book.  I’m being careful not to give her too much information lest it all flies out the window.  But the lessons are very simple, very basic.  She still forgets things I taught her just minutes before which exasperates me no end of course.  Thank goodness I haven’t administered corporal punishment or thrown anything at her - YET.

I’m trying to learn patience and I’m trying to learn how her mind works.  She doesn’t say much so it’s very difficult.   I’ve learned I not only have to teach her lessons -  I have to teach her how to open her mind and focus so the lessons are learned.  I learned I was not meant to be a teacher - not for almost-adults learning to read and write anyway.  But Cyril is my commitment.  Stubborn as I am, I don’t want to back out now because I realized I was not meant to be a teacher.  Maybe if I pray hard enough, things will get better.

Yesterday, she was actually able to spell out simple words after I taught her to memorize the sounds of the alphabet.  I tried to give her longer words (like “children”) just to test the waters… she’s not there yet.  But it’s fine!  We’re getting somewhere…we are actually, finally getting somewhere.